Anonymous Confession #25

Author: WaterConfession: It most often comes to me in the shower. When warm water runs down my shoulders and steam encloses me in a small, humid space, I feel safe… and at the same time braver than ever.I close my eyes and imagine that someone is standing behind me. I do not see a face. I only feel a presence—the weight of a gaze on my skin, breath right by my ear, the warmth of a hand slowly moving across my wet back.In this fantasy, I am not the sensible, composed woman everyone knows. I am bolder. More aware of my body. Sometimes I imagine that I surrender control. Sometimes that I am the one leading the game.The water drowns everything out. My thoughts, my quickened breath, that quiet tension in my belly. And when I turn off the tap and the steam begins to fade, I return to reality.No one knows that an ordinary shower has become the place where I allow myself my most secret desires. And perhaps that is precisely why I return there every day.Penance: Dark thoughts dance in my head, settling on my soul like a shadow in a room bathed in sunlight. There is an abyss in my heart, into which a mysterious voice draws me, whispering promises of power and surrender.Under the shower, in this humid refuge, I become someone else. Sometimes I think about what is hidden behind the curtain over my body, about the shame that transforms into a shiver of excitement. Only here, in the stream of warm water, can I embrace the darkness, that power in which I become all ears, become defenseless.But this temptation has its price