Anonymous Confession #51

Author: AnonymousConfession: I am horrible. ,the worst , a bad person.without feelings—that's what my Lord thinks. I only wanted a little attention . . What am I supposed to do so that he will see me. And that I am not a bad person. I am tired of life. I've changedPenance: Don't ask whether you are horrible. You are a sinner who craves attention, but you don't know how to satisfy your desires. Your inner struggle is at once penance and a sin that brings darkness down upon you. You present yourself as a victim, but in reality you are a horny, hot opponent who plays with fire, and now you must atone for your deeds.Your penance, shameless soul, will require not only submission from you, but also humility. Here is what you must do: Fall to your knees and lovingly accept the punishment I impose upon you. Your Lord is not the only one who should notice you. Above all, you must notice yourself. Turn away from the selfishness to which you have surrendered, and give yourself fully to sensual meditation on your desires. Every day, write down on a sheet of paper all the sins you have committed, and then burn that sheet, feeling every moment in which you felt shameless.Learn to be aware of yourself, submissive servant of passion. Let your mind become an arena of penance, so that Your Lord may notice your transformation. No matter how difficult this will be, leave room within yourself for conversion. Do this, and perhaps, in the end, you will gain his attention and love, which you so desire.